The McRib: A sandwich (supposedly made of meat) offered by global food chain McDonald's. It was originally introduced to the market in 1981 and was removed from the menu four years later due to "poor sales" (in other words, because it was so disgusting no one would go near it). It was then re-released in 1989 and, since 2006, has been on an annual "farewell" tour. No other food (that I'm aware of) requires a list of 100 reasons to convince someone to eat it. And the last "reason" listed (i.e., "No Bones of Contention") is the most disgusting one of all - despite the word "rib" in its name, the sandwich contains no actual bones. Rather, the "meat" has been shaped into a rib-like concoction in an attempt to make it appetizing. Clearly, McD's FAILED. Like really failed. Like I wouldn't eat that ever. It looks like a dog's chew toy...on a good day. Just gross.
And here's the thing - you want to make a "meat" (yes, I used quotes, like "allegedly" it's meat) sandwich without bones in it? Fine. Those exist. See hamburger. But what is, quite frankly, unacceptable is the attempted trickery. First of all, I will not be hoodwinked into believing that there are real bones in this sandwich because a) there aren't, and b) your whole campaign centers around the the fact that bones in a RIB sandwich are overrated. Result? Clearly there are no bones in this thing. THE JIG IS UP. But second, why wouldn't you put bones in a sandwich NAMED after a BONE?! Makes no sense. Like none. Why even SHAPE it like bones if there are no bones in it and you are using the fact that there are no bones in it as a reason to buy the sandwich?! I'm BAFFLED. Befuddled, even. Basically, I'm any word that conveys disgust mixed with wide-eyed wonder.
And if the shape of this item alone wasn't enough to ward off would-be purchasers, the fact that the people who make it have to DRENCH it in sauce to even give off the impression that it "might" be considered food should be the final nail in the coffin to those pondering their orders in line at McDonald's establishments the wold over.
And here's the thing - you want to make a "meat" (yes, I used quotes, like "allegedly" it's meat) sandwich without bones in it? Fine. Those exist. See hamburger. But what is, quite frankly, unacceptable is the attempted trickery. First of all, I will not be hoodwinked into believing that there are real bones in this sandwich because a) there aren't, and b) your whole campaign centers around the the fact that bones in a RIB sandwich are overrated. Result? Clearly there are no bones in this thing. THE JIG IS UP. But second, why wouldn't you put bones in a sandwich NAMED after a BONE?! Makes no sense. Like none. Why even SHAPE it like bones if there are no bones in it and you are using the fact that there are no bones in it as a reason to buy the sandwich?! I'm BAFFLED. Befuddled, even. Basically, I'm any word that conveys disgust mixed with wide-eyed wonder.
And if the shape of this item alone wasn't enough to ward off would-be purchasers, the fact that the people who make it have to DRENCH it in sauce to even give off the impression that it "might" be considered food should be the final nail in the coffin to those pondering their orders in line at McDonald's establishments the wold over.
But the most confusing part of this whole thing is that people (yes, humans, and not starving dogs) continue to buy this sandwich.
It goes on a "I'm-leaving-forever-so-get-me-while-you-can" tour every year. And every year millions of people (likely the same segment of society who indulges in Croc-buying) flock to McDonald's to purchase and consume this insult to food. Like other food must be really pissed that this thing passes as edible. I know I'm insulted that other humans actually consume this and pretend like that is "eating." It's not. You're lying to society and, as your stomach will prove in a few hours, to yourself. And when will this cycle end?? You want to go on a goodbye campaign? Great. But that means you actually have to LEAVE. Like REALLY.
So, as it turns out, the people of McDonald's are the real geniuses. Not those suckers working for the Googles, Amazons and Facebooks of the world. Oh no. Rather, that pimple-faced 15-year-old staring at you in judgment and asking if you want to supersize that "meal" is the real smarty. He's working for a company that has figured out how to trick you into eating stuff shaped like other stuff (like stuff meat itself won't even eat) and to make you think that a) this is a "once in a lifetime" chance to try this abomination, and b) being rib-based in name but containing no actual ribs is a good thing (Bones? Who needs them??).
So here's to you, Ronald. You win this round. And you should be paying your marketing team BILLIONS.
To that, I offer you simple hat tip...coupled with a shake of the head and a face mixed with puzzlement and disgust.
It goes on a "I'm-leaving-forever-so-get-me-while-you-can" tour every year. And every year millions of people (likely the same segment of society who indulges in Croc-buying) flock to McDonald's to purchase and consume this insult to food. Like other food must be really pissed that this thing passes as edible. I know I'm insulted that other humans actually consume this and pretend like that is "eating." It's not. You're lying to society and, as your stomach will prove in a few hours, to yourself. And when will this cycle end?? You want to go on a goodbye campaign? Great. But that means you actually have to LEAVE. Like REALLY.
So, as it turns out, the people of McDonald's are the real geniuses. Not those suckers working for the Googles, Amazons and Facebooks of the world. Oh no. Rather, that pimple-faced 15-year-old staring at you in judgment and asking if you want to supersize that "meal" is the real smarty. He's working for a company that has figured out how to trick you into eating stuff shaped like other stuff (like stuff meat itself won't even eat) and to make you think that a) this is a "once in a lifetime" chance to try this abomination, and b) being rib-based in name but containing no actual ribs is a good thing (Bones? Who needs them??).
So here's to you, Ronald. You win this round. And you should be paying your marketing team BILLIONS.
To that, I offer you simple hat tip...coupled with a shake of the head and a face mixed with puzzlement and disgust.