If you weren't one of the thousands of kids rushing home from school in a panic over missing the first few action-packed moments of The Disney Channel’s afternoon line-up, then you have lived an incomplete life. From roughly 1990 to 1993, before graduating to shows like Hey Dude, Salute Your Shorts and (later) My So-Called Life (i.e., real teen angsty shit), my after-school life consisted of nothing but cartoon ducks, bears and chipmunks. If you’re thinking that makes me a loser, you a) clearly never saw these shows and b) have an opinion that means absolutely SQUAT to me, so move it along. Though all the shows that played on the Disney Afternoon block are near and dear to my heart, I choose to honor three specific programs for their high quality hijinks and general awesomeness. In no particular order:
TaleSpin: This show focused on the adventures of Baloo the bear (yes, from The Jungle Book), working as a pilot for an air cargo freight business in the tropical paradise of Cape Suzette (sadly, Cape Suzette is not real. Trust me, I’ve looked into it.). Baloo’s business is bought out by a sassy Rebecca Cunningham when Baloo is delinquent in payment (sending a good message to little girls the world over – ladies, you CAN have it all…if the “all” you’re seeking is to be a bear and order around a snarky pilot who you have a secret crush on). The possibilities for romance between Baloo and Rebecca are seemingly endless, but (spoiler alert) it never actually happens. Baloo is joined by his second in command – orphan boy and former air pirate Kit Cloudkicker (think Yogi and Boo-Boo but with more heart), and this rag-tag bunch gets into a series of misadventures as they fight to prevent air pirates and other would-be street toughs from entering their fair city. These cubs are the unsung heroes of Cape Suzette, but tales of their bravery in thwarting off constant and unwelcome attempts at invasion by bad-news-wolf Don Karnage will live on in 90s lore. AND in this blog.
TaleSpin: This show focused on the adventures of Baloo the bear (yes, from The Jungle Book), working as a pilot for an air cargo freight business in the tropical paradise of Cape Suzette (sadly, Cape Suzette is not real. Trust me, I’ve looked into it.). Baloo’s business is bought out by a sassy Rebecca Cunningham when Baloo is delinquent in payment (sending a good message to little girls the world over – ladies, you CAN have it all…if the “all” you’re seeking is to be a bear and order around a snarky pilot who you have a secret crush on). The possibilities for romance between Baloo and Rebecca are seemingly endless, but (spoiler alert) it never actually happens. Baloo is joined by his second in command – orphan boy and former air pirate Kit Cloudkicker (think Yogi and Boo-Boo but with more heart), and this rag-tag bunch gets into a series of misadventures as they fight to prevent air pirates and other would-be street toughs from entering their fair city. These cubs are the unsung heroes of Cape Suzette, but tales of their bravery in thwarting off constant and unwelcome attempts at invasion by bad-news-wolf Don Karnage will live on in 90s lore. AND in this blog.
Chip ’n Dale Rescue Rangers: Every straight-laced dude (or chipmunk, in this case) needs a balancing act, just like every yin needs a yang. Think Joe and Brian from Wings, or Richard and Larry from Weekend at Bernie’s, and Chip and Dale are no exception. Chip and Dale (but let’s face it, mainly Chip) start the Rescue Rangers detective agency, along with gal-pal Gadget (the real brains of the operation, and the source of some bro-code problems between Chip and Dale, who are both clearly in love with her despite their ‘munks-before-punks’ attitudes), Monterrey Jack (a bad ass giant mouse, duh) and Zipper (a fly who speaks only in buzzes, a la Lassie). Though they take on all kinds of cases (those “too small” for regular beat cops to handle), they often face the same nemeses: Fat Cat (a tabby cat mafioso type) and mad scientist extraordinaire Norton Nimnul. Our protagonist crime-stoppers foil devious plots and stop would-be villains from succeeding in their evil schemes in each adrenaline-pumping half-hour episode, all while dealing with the drama of working alongside their best buds. Hilarity quite obviously ensues.
Makin' it rain. Play on, player. And last, but certainly not least, no reference to The Disney Afternoon would be complete withput a true hat tip to the star of the line-up, DuckTales. If you never saw Scrooge McDuck swan dive (pun intended) into a room full of gold coins, I’m sad for you and you are clearly living an unfulfilled life. That opening scene alone was the sole image that drove me to strive for success in my own life – I aspired to one day have my own room full of beautiful coins to dive into. I’m pretty close, too…just 50 or so more years to go. Scrooge McDuck is the curmudgeon-y great uncle to trouble makers Huey, Dewey and Louie (distinguishable by their color-coordinated hats and sweaters), dumped fortuitously on his doorstep one fateful day by dead-beat dad Donald Duck (don't even get me started on that loser - couldn't even afford pants). Scrooge is the richest duck in the world and is obviously trying to stay that way, but “lesser” ducks (most notably, Flintheart Glomgold, the world’s second-richest duck (and therefore known as the 'first loser' among duck-kind)) are always after his coins. At the heart of Scrooge's gold collection is his Number One Dime, the coin that he believes paved the way for the rest of his fortune to come rolling in, and all of the show's villains are striving to pry it from his feathery grasp. Good luck, chumps – Scrooge-y-poo and his clever ducklings are always one waddle ahead of you.
At this point, I could go into pages of discussion and analysis as to why I loved each of these shows, the lessons I took away from them and how each had a hand in turning me into the well-adjusted, idle-minded lady I am today, but I can sum it up with just five words: Disney Afternoon Equals Pure Bliss.
At this point, I could go into pages of discussion and analysis as to why I loved each of these shows, the lessons I took away from them and how each had a hand in turning me into the well-adjusted, idle-minded lady I am today, but I can sum it up with just five words: Disney Afternoon Equals Pure Bliss.
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