Because Some Monsters Are Real...They're Called Sharks.

For those of you that know me, it should come as no surprise that my first entry will be about a topic near and dear to my heart:  SHARKS.  I am someone who watches Discovery Channel's Shark Week every year.  Not because it's fun or entertaining (though it is both of those things), but because I have to.  Why, you might ask?  Because you need to know your enemy.  

Sharks are the world's most perfect killing machines.  They have not evolved in millions of years because they haven't had to.  In my experience, people don't tend to take this fact as seriously as they should.  How do I know this?  Because people STILL get in the water.  And that is truly my point - you have to respect the sea.  You can't go splashing around in shark-infested waters wearing your most fabulous sequined bikini, or wear a wet suit to paddle around on a surf board off the coast of Australia all willy-nilly, and be shocked when you lose an arm because GUESS WHAT:  you look like prey (and, if you ask me, you also look like an idiot).   

I have not been more than ankle deep in the ocean in over eight years.  Some people think that's ridiculous, but I think it's realistic.  You see, the sharks and I have reached an understanding - they don't come into my realm and I certainly do my best to stay out of theirs.  And guess what?  I have had exactly zero shark bites (way to keep up your end of the bargain, sharks!).  The whole not-evolving-to-the-point-of-growing-legs-and-an-ability-to-breathe-out-of-the-water thing is their part of the bargain (you're welcome, humans).  And the number one shark keeping me out of the water (other than the Great White, which will get its own, much-deserved post another day):  Megalodon.

Now, some people do not believe in the existence of Megalodon.  Like the boogey man, Dracula and other things that go bump in the night, some believe Megalodon to be nothing more than a scary story.  But I beg to differ.  Just take a look at the video above.  That thing is real.  And not only is it a predator, it eats the scariest predator we know about for breakfast.  Mind.  Blown.
 
They may never actually use the word 'Megalodon,' but that is obviously the only logical answer to the question 'what ate this shark?'  And it is predators like this (and really just the mere suggestion of their existence) that lead me to keep my feet on dry land.  Let me be clear - I think sharks are absolutely beautiful and amazing creatures.  And I believe they serve a purpose within their delicate ecosystems.  But we do not.  

So, to sum it up:  stay dry, my friends.